in an alternate reality of life (unserious map) (wip) by thepigwhogotpickledbypicklepig
created at 2025-10-18T03:01:25.280Z
updated at 2025-10-18T20:22:36.371Z
This map is essentially a joke and please do not take it seriously. I decided to make this because it was funny and that's it. Please star if you are breathing or blinking right now.
Map type: extra long distance | Total track length: 9165 miles | Center coordinate: 13.6357, -85.5144 | * no hydration allowed line: (Gondola/aerial tram, 15 stations) the darien gap, the most highly populated city in the world, darien national park, have fun, no getting off this train, no roof as well, no hydration here either, the movie theater, where u are not allowed to get off, 4 milliseconds off the train here, you know what lets go back to the city, lets go almost time to get off, almost there woohoo for everyone, nevermind this could take long, no way we're almost there, man that's it im getting off this train, o wait i can't, darientown (home of 1.4 people and 492,000 starving camels)
* hydration allowed every february 30th line: (Gondola/aerial tram, 28 stations) the darien gap, the most highly populated city in the world, darien national park, have fun, no getting off this train, no roof as well, no hydration here either, the movie theater, where u are not allowed to get off, 4 milliseconds off the train here, you know what lets go back to the city, lets go almost time to get off, almost there woohoo for everyone, wait a minute this line actually brings us back, hello fellow passengers, ok now where are we, good good trees, people who can't swim get off here and go to the yellow line, a peak at hydration, all right lets begin, the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test, that progressively gets more difficult as it continues., The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start., The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal., A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound., Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible., The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over., The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start., LAP 1, LAP 2 (WHY ARE U NOT RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE), welcome to the beginning of the end
* the yellow line (no hydration allowed: (Gondola/aerial tram, 6 stations) those who survived maybe get on the blue line, end, don't begin, begin, now as a punishment for not being able to swim, you will swim, people who can't swim get off here and go to the yellow line
* the blue line (also no hydration allowed): (Gondola/aerial tram, 6 stations) the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test, and do this, now prove yourselves, if you survived, welcome, i am proud of you, welcome to the blue line, those who survived maybe get on the blue line
* usa: (Gondola/aerial tram, 9 stations) hey canada why did u copy us with vancouver, panama City!!!!! this is usa (ultraviolet submergent anchovies), water break, manila!! since when did the philippinnes get here, trinadad!! where's tobago, welcome to calee4neuh, ahh its gone, oh no why is there a place called glasgow, lets defend!!!
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