you don't have to star if this map helps you (otherwise you do) by thepigwhogotpickledbypicklepig
created at 2025-10-18T03:01:25.280Z
updated at 2026-07-23T20:59:29.707Z
This map is essentially a joke and please do not take it seriously. I am not trying to disrespect anywhere in the world, this is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not start a war in the chat about random things.
You may suggest joke ideas for new lines on this map. That would be greatly appreciated.
Also if this map benefits you in any way you don't have to star. But please explain how this map has helped you and I will take notes on your feedback.
Lessons I have learned based on feedback
1. People don't know Panama City, Florida
Map type: extra long distance | Total track length: 109216 miles | Center coordinate: 22.6583, 15.0343 | * no hydration allowed line: (Gondola/aerial tram, 15 stations) the darien gap, the most highly populated city in the world, darien national park, have fun, no getting off this train, no roof as well, no hydration here either, the movie theater, where u are not allowed to get off, 4 milliseconds off the train here, you know what lets go back to the city, lets go almost time to get off, almost there woohoo for everyone, nevermind this could take long, no way we're almost there, man that's it im getting off this train, o wait i can't, darientown (home of 1.4 people and 492,000 starving camels)
* hydration allowed every february 30th line: (Gondola/aerial tram, 28 stations) the darien gap, the most highly populated city in the world, darien national park, have fun, no getting off this train, no roof as well, no hydration here either, the movie theater, where u are not allowed to get off, 4 milliseconds off the train here, you know what lets go back to the city, lets go almost time to get off, almost there woohoo for everyone, wait a minute this line actually brings us back, hello fellow passengers, ok now where are we, good good trees, people who can't swim get off here and go to the yellow line, a peak at hydration, all right lets begin, the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test, that progressively gets more difficult as it continues., The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start., The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal., A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound., Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible., The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over., The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start., LAP 1, LAP 2 (WHY ARE U NOT RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE), welcome to the beginning of the end
* the yellow line (no hydration allowed): (Gondola/aerial tram, 6 stations) those who survived maybe get on the blue line, end, don't begin, begin, now as a punishment for not being able to swim, you will swim, people who can't swim get off here and go to the yellow line
* the blue line (also no hydration allowed): (Gondola/aerial tram, 6 stations) the fitnessgram pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test, and do this, now prove yourselves, if you survived, welcome, i am proud of you, welcome to the blue line, those who survived maybe get on the blue line
* usa: (Metro/rapid transit, 9 stations) hey canada why did u copy us with vancouver, panama City!!!!! this is usa (ultraviolet submergent anchovies), water break, manila!! since when did the philippinnes get here, trinadad!! where's tobago, welcome to calee4neuh, ahh its gone, oh no why is there a place called glasgow, lets defend!!!
* south sudan: (Metro/rapid transit, 6 stations) sudan, north south sudan, west south sudan, east south sudan, south south sudan, not sudan
* Blue Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 12 stations) water train interchange, where you live, where i don't live, where i live, dededo (why does that sound like dramatic music at the beginning of a big famous concerto or somethi, gum, lunch break, what did i say??, im convinced we'll never make it to hawaii, hey wait is that also hawaii?!, hey hawaii is right there, a nice random spot
* Red Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 21 stations) its a reunion!!, i left the big white thing, hey what is this big white thing?, beef, wellington, marshall islands, lunch break, welcome to the shortcut, where you think its a shortcut, but it isn't, it goes here, then here, then right here, then up, then down, then upp, then overshoots, before going up even more, how sad, ok this is the final part of the shortcut we hope you've had a great day, where i don't live
* Yellow Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 10 stations) hah I tricked you I would never break the law, i broke the law i went on land, another random station, water train interchange, ok fine dinner break, ha back to work after lunch break, lunch break, marshall islands, also a place, a place
* Green Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 0 stations)
* Orange Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 15 stations) where i don't live, a restaurant... trust, station in the middle, how happy, how sad, ahhhh so busy, this is busy look, yes it is the other one is lying, but it isn't, downtown waterland, a place, going towards Korea, hah tricked you that's Russia, um when are we going to Russia?? oh right it's a water line, bering sea
* Cyan Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 17 stations) waterland interchange (where all the water goes), downtown waterland, but it isn't, the next stop is called but it isn't, my other house, my wateryard, my frontyard (flooded), where i live, now we're not, now we're really passing through Taiwan, passing through Taiwan (kinda), lets head to downtown waterland, anyways, I couldn't physically show you because I would go on land which this metro system cannot do, but also... MEXICO!!, it's manila, if you look right above you
* Purple Line: (Metro/rapid transit, 8 stations) telling, poo poo, place with no life (aka get a life!!), if you clicked on this station, it's time to go to sleep, Pompeii, marshall islands, the intersection of orange line, or should I say blue line, water train interchange
* possibility #1 (not very likely unless you are the president): (Metro/rapid transit, 9 stations) west south sudan, norway (technically), the literal top of greenland, the wrong london, cucumber land, the house that is white, darientown (home of 1.4 people and 492,000 starving camels), turbo (like the movie??), are these clouds beside me??
* possibility #2 (only for people who's dream is to learn swimming): (Metro/rapid transit, 6 stations) Manchester airport (nothing beats a jet2 holiday), so those people will be rewarded, oh shoot only people who know English made it here, now for your second test please swim to India, anyone who survived welcome to Sri Lanka, hello, I am coach bob, and I will instruct your swimming lessons today
* possibility #3 (the journey of "aku"): (Metro/rapid transit, 4 stations) aku, maku, baku, saku
* possibility #4 (indonesian island tour): (Ferry, 9 stations) telling, poo poo, bobong (like the Netflix intro), wakatobi (wait how is this not Japanese), an island, i was born here (ya in the water), Bali (the wrong one), maranglelang (say that out it sounds funny), the port where everyone will get on
* denmark: (Metro/rapid transit, 9 stations) nuke (amazing how people survive here), the literal top of greenland, you forgot about greenland did you, the most top right corner of denmark, nope we're not going to Aalborg (no big cities), why are danish city names so interesting, if anyone can pronounce this you don't have to star (both the city on the left and the road), sig, redbull maybe??
* comoros: (Metro/rapid transit, 4 stations) lingoni (sounds like a kind of pasta), interesting city names, hmm can you pronounce this, ok wait what??
* New York (A Line): (Metro/rapid transit, 5 stations) beach material, some kind a rock?, on runway 22R and 4L of JFK (like who goes here, o wait, airplanes do), in the Hudson River, Oakland (the wrong one)
* New York (B Line): (Metro/rapid transit, 10 stations) new brunswick (copying Canada), Arthur kill (like a command) (sorry to all Arthurs out there), some kind a rock?, long beach (also the wrong one, or the right one?? who knows), bay shore (what a creative name), Southhampton (welcome to the uk), North Sea (um are they saying the Atlantic Ocean is a sea???), shore rd is here (who woulda thought), beech st (the people who made this didn't know how to spell), oyster pond (find some oysters)
* New York (C Line): (Metro/rapid transit, 8 stations) middleville (right in the middle I see), crab meadow (wait ill find crabs if I live here??), Eatons Neck (ouch his neck must hurt), more oysters????, the intersection of runway 22 and runway 13 (try not to get hit), in the Hudson River, short hills (great description of the city), long hill (the hills grow??)
* Sandy Line: (High speed rail, 19 stations) ok the train ended (go to australia to find the nearest bus stop), we will end the train in sand and you shall walk to the nearest bus stop, announcement: the captain has made a decision, hey guys a rare sighting, it's sand!!!, gao, you are in chinnana, tamales?, that's a lot of 19th letter in the alphabets, ugh more sand, who woulda thought it's a zoo in the Sahara, it's a zoo baba (telling your dad it's a zoo), maybe where your pet camel went?, oh right welcome to chad, I wonder why it's so sandy?, if you go in satellite view and zoom out this place is really bright, dongola (like the reverse of gondola?), thanks to IvanK~TMF for the suggestion of this map, oh wow this place is sandy, welcome to port Sudan (this is your last look at water for a veryyyy long time
* New York (D Line): (Metro/rapid transit, 6 stations) where you find huckleberries, as well as this house, if you live in this house you don't have to star, in the Hudson River, the airport that is one of the most annoying to fly in the world, scotch plains (never knew New York was in Scotland)
* London Underground (Central): (Metro/rapid transit, 5 stations) throw the heat (Heathrow), this is basically the Hudson River of London, the royal palace of london, seven kings live here I guess?, Barkingside (bring your dog here)
* London Underground (everything else): (Metro/rapid transit, 10 stations) very very very very veryvery very very very veryvery very very very very west London, bath, devices, hunger needs to be solved here, I'm reading, but nope (it'll be too helpful), I'm really thinking about intersecting the two lines for this, canvey island that isn't an island, Southend (the end of the south?), very very very very very very very very very east london
* The Line With Sand: (High speed rail, 10 stations) welcome to port Sudan (this is your last look at water for a veryyyy long time, hayya (I hit you), shendi (sounding Chinese), ummmm, sudan, north south sudan, west south sudan, obo, Central African Republic (aka CAR), aku
* vatican city: (Metro/rapid transit, 5 stations) yup now it's over, ok the tour is basically over of the entire country, and a train station, it has a cemetery, welcome to the smallest country in the world
* The Trains Are Made of Sand: (High speed rail, 7 stations) benin city, nigeria, benin, togo (like takeout in a resturant), a tamale, including the capital (ouagadougou), we're about to enter burkina faso (some of its city names are quite interesting), gao
* central australia bus express (CABE): (Bus rapid transit, 8 stations) no way trees!, imagine your car breaks down here, where the birds live, right on the border line of something, no way rocks!, who lives here?, in satellite mode this place is very red, the nearest bus stop (go to mauritania to see what I mean)
* The Main Line (that is useless): (Medium/long distance rail, 13 stations) lesotho (completely surronded by south africa), mulobezi GMA (name of a national park?), nowhere near a big city, west south sudan, north south sudan, sudan, ummmm, dongola (like the reverse of gondola?), get off here to go to riyadh, interesting name, tibet (how helpful), zooming out this place says inner mongolia (this place is in china), remote place in russia
* possibility #5 (if you live in the suburbs of moscow): (Metro/rapid transit, 7 stations) roshal (who knows if this is still a suburb), shatura, not even gonna try pronouncing the city name, a russian city ending with a y and having a k, who woulda thought (a russian city with a y ending with a k), btw im not tryna be sterotypical, run from moscow!
* London Underground (the elevated part): (Metro/rapid transit, 5 stations) not london (water), bye london, place, well it would be too helpful to go to central london so let's go the other way, yes you saw that right (the london underground is overground)
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